Wedding Ceremony

Yesterday (5th July 2009) another of my cousin got married.

Well I attended it and I’m all genuinely happy for my friend, but I reckon every single person frustrated in love who attends such an event will likely to have this single thought on their mind.

Me, still single and looking, wondering, “When is it going to be my turn … Oh mak kahwin kah lah aku”

Hahaha, as pathetic as it sound, it’s sadly true … well alright enough of the banter, the blog topic for today is not about me, but of the colorful Malay Wedding.

Anyone out there who is not a Malay and is getting hitched with someone who is, well these are the activities which precede the actual Malay wedding ceremony.

It’s more of less of my observation over the years and online stuff I found. So if I left out anything or got it wrong, do revert back to me aite:

The Mirisik

• This step is usually given a miss by current generation of youngster. They already have a partner in mind, and such match making is no longer applicable in such times.
  
• Investigation or spying by groom family member visiting the potential bride.
  
• A hint will be given to her parents regarding the purpose of the visit, and their reaction will be assessed.
  
• The girl’s parents may also give the visitors some idea as to whether or not their daughter will be interested in the match.
  
• The merisik does not constitute a formal proposal.

Pertunangan

• The engagement or approach to formalise the arrangement (meminang).
  
• This betrothal is the pre-wedding meeting between the bride’s and the groom’s parents
  
• Determine the dowry that is to be given to the bride as well as the date of the solemnization.
  
• This may be as early as a year before the wedding itself so that arrangements could be made in advance.
  
• Once agreement for the marriage has been reached between the families of the potential bride and the potential bridegroom, preparations for engagement (Meminang) take place.
  
• Representatives from the young man’s side once again visit the house of the young woman, following the confirmation of a date and time for such a visit.
  
• On the side of the potential bride, a consensus is obtained regarding the following:
  

• (a) The date and time for the Meminang ceremony.
  
• (b) The amount of money to be paid by the young man for expenses (Wang belanja).
  
• (c) Details regarding the gift (Hantaran) items.
  
• (d) The date and time for the actual wedding ceremony and feast.
  

Akad Nikah

• Akad Nikah is an Islamic ceremony without which no marriage is valid.
  
• Marriage contract where the solmnization is normally presided by a kadhi, a religious official of the Syariat (Shariat) Court.
  
• Consent of both the bride and the bridegroom must be obtained
  
• Groom agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin.
  
• A small sum of money called the mas kahwin seals the contract.
  
• The amount of the mas kahwin is usually fixed, but a potential bridegroom may give any amount above the official figure.
  
• The akad nikah ceremony is in effect a verbal contract between the bride’s father or his representative (in this case the kadhi) and the groom.
  
• In a brief sermon given by the officials, the bridegroom and the bride will receive a briefing on their rights and responsibilities as a married couple, particularly from the Islamic perspective.
  
• There must be two official witnesses at the Akad Nikah.
  
• A marriage certificate will be issued by the kadhi or State Religious Council representatives following the ceremony,
  
• This is to be signed by the bridegroom, the bride as well as the witnesses.
  

Adat Berinai

• The berinai (henna application) ceremony is held prior to the wedding.
  
• The Adat Berinai is intended to cleanse both the young persons now married to each other.
  
• Henna is regarded as a blessed item, that is, it is used as a means of cleansing and protection from evil or malicious influences.
  
• The bride’s palms and feet are ‘decorated’ with the dye from the henna leaves.
  
• The bride’s hair is also trimmed or her eyebrows shaped by a beautician known as the mak andam.
  
• Berinai ceremonies are held three times as follows:
  

• (a) Berinai Curi takes place three nights before the actual wedding ceremony (akad nikah) with the participation of close relatives and friends only.
  
• (b) Berinai Kecil. Takes place two nights before the wedding ceremony with the participation of family members, neighbors and close friends.
  
• (c) Berinai Besar is usually held after the completion of the religious ceremony (Akad Nikah).
  
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